Meeting Game

HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: (OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE)

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls?

Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

• synergy
• strategic fit
• core competencies
• best practice
• bottom line
• revisit
• growth
• to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
• 24/7
• out of the loop
• benchmark
• value-added
• proactive
• win-win
• think outside the box
• fast track
• result-driven
• empower (or empowerment)
• knowledge base
• at the end of the day
• touch base
• mindset
• client focus(ed)
• paradigm
• game plan
• leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout " BULLSHIT !"

Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan, NYC

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."

Thanks to the Anonymous reader who sent the above as a comment for the blog "The In-Group Game".

Escape Games - The Scapegoat Game

PROLOGUE

Escape Games

The purpose of an Escape Game is to avoid unpleasant consequences. In the two most common types of escape games (covered as two separate posts), players are either actively trying to avoid blame or passively shirking responsibility.

The Scapegoat Game: “This problem was clearly your fault.”
Scapegoat, which can be played by individuals or groups, involves an existing problem, a search for blame, and a target. In this game, the target is quickly determined to be the cause of the problem, with no exploration of other possibilities. When Scapegoat is played between colleagues, their blame-shifting conversations can resemble a tennis match. Taken to a higher level, Scapegoat can be played by entire departments. If your boss is a chronic Scapegoat player, the game can be hazardous, because bosses are often able to punish people. Occasionally, politically stupid Scapegoat players try to make their boss a target. These poor souls usually meet with an unfortunate end.

The Emotional Payoff: “If I’m not the cause of the problem, then I don’t have to feel responsible, guilty, or foolish.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Resentful and angry Scapegoat targets will often try to return the favour when future problems arise.


• Successful Scapegoating usually means that the real issues are never identified, so the problem continues to exist or will reoccur in the future.

Countermoves: In Scapegoat, countermoves are designed to deflect attention from the target, broaden the scope of the discussion, and determine the true source of the difficulty. If you have a boss who likes to play this game, you may have to divert significant energy to ongoing CYA activity.

Avoid getting into an argument: Because no one likes being blamed, Scapegoat discussions can turn into heated debates. Targets, who feel with some justification that they are being unfairly attacked, often respond in kind, turning the discussion into a free-for-all. This is not helpful.

Acknowledge the possibility of partial responsibility: To avoid appearing defensive, targets may volunteer to assume some portion of the responsibility. “My department did miss one deadline related to the product launch, but we probably need to review the completion dates at each step of the project. I’ll gather some data on that and report back at the next meeting. There may be several factors that we need to consider on the next project.”

Defend yourself subtly: Without firing back directly, try to incorporate a line of defense into your response: “We did decide to push the deadline back in order to get the customer survey data, since that seemed to be a key piece of information.”

Broaden the scope of the discussion: Invite people to consider other possible causes of the problem: “Waiting for the survey data was one factor in the delay. What else might have made it difficult to meet the schedule?”

Get the facts: One of the best countermoves in Scapegoat is to have facts available that support your case or point to the real reason for the problem.

The End of the Game: When Scapegoat is a group pastime, the game ends when members decide to adopt more a more constructive method of problem solving. But if your boss likes to play Scapegoat, the game will only end when you get a new boss.

EPILOGUE

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Parolini & Andrew Parker
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Ego Games - The In-Group Game

PROLOGUE

EGO Games
All Ego Games are designed to make the player feel smarter, better, or more special than other people. Some games require a victim, while others just allow the players to puff themselves up a bit. Most Ego Game players are actually masking strong feelings of insecurity or inferiority.

The In-Group Game: “You’d like to be one of us, but you can’t.”
An In-Group Game requires two separate and unequal groups. Everyone knows that one is more desirable and that membership is restricted, but no one is supposed to talk about it. Members of the In-Group usually share some identifiable characteristic. Unlike Shunning players, In-Group members are not necessarily hostile to the out-group. They just enjoy being part of their special little clique. Communication between the two groups may be quite cordial and pleasant, but everyone knows that an invisible barrier exists (although members of the “in” clique will never publicly admit it).

The Emotional Payoff: “Being part of an exclusive group makes me feel special.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Resentment often festers beneath the friendly façade of out-group members, who may retaliate in some way.
• Divided groups are as seldom as effective as cohesive groups, so the work usually suffers along with the relationships.

Countermoves: The purpose of breaking up an In-Group Game is not to disrupt In-Group relationships, but to make the whole group more inclusive.

Bring the issue into the open: The existence of cliques can often be delicately acknowledged by making observations. “Sometimes decisions seem to have been made before we get into the meeting.” Or “We always seem to be divided into two groups. Why is that?”

Build one-on-one relationships: Out-group members can safely initiate friendly individual relationships without taking on the whole In-Group at once. They may do this by asking for advice, requesting assistance, or just chatting about the weekend.

Suggest activities that either mix the groups or include all group members: Increased interaction often helps to break down cliques. As members become better acquainted, relationships will naturally develop. Strategies may include creating project teams with members from both groups or engaging in group social activities.

The End of the Game: The game is over when all members of the group can interact freely, without feeling that some “rule” is being violated. Unless the In-Group is really entrenched, this goal can usually be achieved.

EPILOGUE

Employee’s new job had him working really late since there were a lot of thefts of information and equipment going on in the office. He decides to get his boss a watchdog. He goes to the pet store and asks for a Doberman.

The store keeper said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you." The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle.
Employee says, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?"
The store keeper says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate."
"Karate? I don't believe it," Employee says.
The store keeper puts the dog down and says, "Karate, the sign." And he points to a sign advertising dog food. The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds. Employee is amazed at this.
The store keeper then says, "Karate the chair." And he points to a chair in the corner. The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds. By now Employee is convinced.
"I'll take him," he says.
When he gets to work next day he surprises his boss with the dog as a solution who yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog? No way."
Employee: "But this dog knows karate."
Boss: "Karate !" ..."Karate my ass !"

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Mike Baldwin
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Ego Games - The Superiority Game

PROLOGUE

EGO Games

All Ego Games are designed to make the player feel smarter, better, or more special than other people. Some games require a victim, while others just allow the players to puff themselves up a bit. Most Ego Game players are actually masking strong feelings of insecurity or inferiority.

The Superiority Game: “Aren’t you impressed with me?”
Words and actions of Superiority players send the clear message that they are important, unique, and indispensable. Hogging the conversation, bragging, and ignoring others’ needs are all Superiority moves. When their real life isn’t impressive enough, some dedicated players will actually fabricate stories. Superiority usually has only one player, who is simply in search of an audience. But when two players compete, a predictable and pointless “my dog’s bigger than your dog” pattern emerges.

The Emotional Payoff: “I can make others believe that I’m important and special.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Superiority behaviours are quite annoying to colleagues, who eventually just tune out these braggarts.
• Because these manoeuvres are rather transparent, Superiority players often come across as insecure – the exact opposite of the impression they are trying to create.

Countermoves: Because Superiority players are just trying to impress their audience, these games are usually more aggravating than destructive. If the player’s behavior begins to interfere with work, however, then it needs to stop.

Avoid getting hooked: Never, under any circumstances, try to top a Superiority player with a story of your own. This just leads to an endless cycle of one-upmanship.

Don’t reward annoying behaviour: When you ignore self-promoting comments and attempts to control the conversation, these inappropriate behaviors will diminish.

Address problem behaviours directly: When a Superiority player is interfering with others’ performance or productivity, then you should ask them to stop the disruptive behavior.

Remember the motive: Anyone who tries this hard to look important doesn’t really feel that way. If you can remember that they are actually quite insecure beneath all that posturing, then you may feel more sympathetic.

The End of the Game: A Superiority Game is over when the player stops trying to impress you. Some people only play Superiority with new acquaintances and drop the pose once they get to know someone.

EPILOGUE

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Mike Baldwin
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Ego Games - The Put-Down Game

PROLOGUE
Ego Games

All Ego Games are designed to make the player feel smarter, better, or more special than other people. Some games require a victim, while others just allow the players to puff themselves up a bit. Most Ego Game players are actually masking strong feelings of insecurity or inferiority.

The Put-Down Game:

“You’re obviously an idiot, so I must be brilliant.”
Put-Down Games require a player and at least one target. These players are pathetic little souls who can only feel good about themselves by making someone else feel stupid or inept. They specialize in sarcasm and criticism, making biting remarks that are unnecessary and hurtful.

The Emotional Payoff: “By demonstrating my superiority over others, I can feel less inferior myself.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Put-Down Games quickly produce resentful and angry adversaries.
• With their constant belittling of others, these players actually appear insecure instead of superior.

Countermoves: Because they are widely known as chronic complainers, Put-Down players are often politically impotent. But they are most unpleasant to be around, so avoiding them is a wise stress management strategy.

Don’t give them what they want: Watching you tremble is most rewarding to a Put-Down player, so maintain a self-confident appearance. Always respond calmly to any assaults. Or just give them a dismissive look and continue with what you were saying.

Minimize contact: Why set yourself up for target practice? You should only interact with these attackers when you have no other choice. If you are unfortunate enough to work for a Put-Down player, then just remember that it’s your boss who’s the moron, not you – and find another job as soon as possible.

Get other opinions: Never evaluate your own work by the reactions of a Put-Down player. Find some mentally healthy people who can provide a more balanced and rational view.

The End of the Game: This game only ends when one of you leaves. Put-Down specialists seldom change.

EPILOGUE

Let every person know that they matter. At times it can be done quite simply... really.

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Mike Baldwin
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Games People Play - The Shunning Game

PROLOGUE
Power Game players are either trying to increase their leverage or flaunt the power they already have. Some players have malicious intentions, while others are merely self-centred. All Power Games are designed to give the player some type of advantage over others.

This will be my last post in the series for Power Games. From next post we will delve into another realm - Ego Games

The Shunning Game: “If you don’t fit in, we’re going to get you.”
Shunning is a group game that requires a target, who is punished for being different in some way. Targets gradually realize that they are being excluded from group gatherings and friendly office banter. Any conversation that they join breaks up rather quickly. Required communication is always cool and formal. But since no one will acknowledge that anything unusual is occurring, all attempts to discuss the problem are brushed aside.

The Emotional Payoff: “We feel more powerful because we can punish people.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Because it is a childish game, Shunning makes the players appear immature and small-minded.
• Shunning creates powerful feelings of anger in the target, who may look for opportunities to retaliate. If the target ever acquires more power, Shunning players better watch out.
  

Countermoves: Countermoves to a Shunning game should focus on reducing the target’s isolation and gradually breaking down the group’s united front.

Find other sources of support: Sometimes the target can simply join another group.

Divide and conquer: Often the target of a Shunning game can chip away at the hostile group dynamic by getting to know the friendlier members. Shunning players usually vary in their level of commitment to the game. Typically, one or two leaders are strongly invested in punishing the target, but other members may feel a bit guilty about being so mean. By developing a relationship with these more accessible players, the target may be able to short circuit the game.

Try to define the offensive behaviour: Shunning targets often have no idea what they are doing wrong. Because no one will acknowledge the existence of a problem, they can’t fix it. By talking with accessible group members, the target can sometimes identify the cause of their colleagues’ resentment.

Change things that are reasonable: No one should be expected to become a clone of their colleagues. But if the issue is related to job performance or career goals, changing might be a good idea. One Shunning target learned that his constant talking was driving his colleagues away. Now that’s a behaviour he might want to work on.

The End of the Game: Shunning Games usually end in one of two ways: either the group offers the target at least minimal acceptance or the target leaves. Shunning is a brutal psychological weapon that can place almost unendurable stress on the victim. Most people cannot tolerate that kind of pressure for long. Nor should they.

EPILOGUE

Shun if you must, do it with authority

Director: Why haven't you kept me up to date on this account?

Sales Manager: I've CC-ed you on every email I sent to them.

Director: I don't have time to read my emails. There's too much information in them. If you send me an important email give me a call to let me know I need to check it. But first send me an email on my blackberry to let me know its an important call.

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Mike Baldwin
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Games People Play - The Control Game

PROLOGUE
Political manoeuvring is part of the ebb and flow of office life, but political office games have a specific purpose.

The most common games fall into three categories: Power Games, Ego Games and Escape Games. Keep in mind that these popular pastimes are hardly limited to the workplace. People often play them with customer, family and friends as well !

Power Game players are either trying to increase their leverage or flaunt the power they already have. Some players have malicious intentions, while others are merely self-centred. All Power Games are designed to give the player some type of advantage over others.

The Control Game: “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Control Game players resist direction or advice from others. Some are dominators, who enjoy telling people what to do. Others are resistors, who may have little desire to lead others, but strongly resent any outside influence over their own activities. And some combine both characteristics.

The Emotional Payoff: “I get to do what I want to do.”

Pitfalls for Players:
Control Games often degenerate into useless power struggles that drain energy from more productive activities. Observers typically wonder why these silly people can’t just grow up and get along.

Someone usually loses. Playing a Control Game with your boss can be especially risky, because managers usually have more leverage by virtue of their position.

Countermoves: Control games can be adversarial and destructive, so countermoves should protect the target from possible harm. Here are some strategies to consider with a Control Game player:

Don’t get sucked into an overt power struggle: Responding with vengeful control moves of your own will just bring you down to their level and invite retaliation. You need to guard your territory, but remain focused on the work, so don’t trash your opponent or go for an obvious power grab.

Stand your ground: Insecure people often lose Control Games because they give in too easily. If someone is challenging you, you must establish appropriate boundaries and enforce them.

Fortify relationships with high-leverage allies: Because Control Games are all about power, you must make every effort to have people with a lot of leverage in your corner.

Directly address problems with the work: Instead of getting emotionally “hooked” by your opponent’s challenging behaviour, keep your focus on work-related issues and desired results.

Go with the resistance: “Going with the resistance” is a time-tested strategy used by therapists, salespeople, and martial arts experts. Simply put, this means that when someone is pushing you, you don’t push back. But neither do you give in. You simply use their comments to move the discussion in a helpful direction. For example, if someone criticizes your ideas, don’t argue. Instead, say, “That’s an interesting point. I’ll keep it in mind.” or “Tell me what you would suggest.”

The End of the Game: A Control Game is over when the relationship stops feeling adversarial and people are working cooperatively. Or of course when the weaker player gives up.

EPILOGUE

Someday You'll Be the Stupid Boss, So Have Compassion
Boss: Did you answer my phone while I was gone?
Worker bee: It didn't ring.
Boss: Well, did John call for me?
Worker bee: He didn't call. Your phone didn't ring.
Boss: But did you answer a call from John?
Worker bee: No, when your phone didn't ring, I didn't answer it, and when I didn't answer it, John wasn't the one that didn't call.

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Dave Parker

Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

Games People Play - The Suck Up Game

PROLOGUE

Political manoeuvring is part of the ebb and flow of office life, but political office games have a specific purpose. Here a few signs that a game is in progress:

• The player’s actions have an identifiable and predictable pattern.
• The behaviour has an emotional payoff. Games are always played for emotional rewards.
• True motives are never stated. Players will try to give logical explanations for everything they do.
• Any attempt to change the game is resisted, because players don’t want to lose the emotional payoff.

The most common games fall into three categories: Power Games, Ego Games and Escape Games. Keep in mind that these popular pastimes are hardly limited to the workplace. People often play them with customer, family and friends as well !

Power Game players are either trying to increase their leverage or flaunt the power they already have. Some players have malicious intentions, while others are merely self-centred. All Power Games are designed to give the player some type of advantage over other people.

The Suck Up Game: “I think you’re wonderful, so you have to like me.”

Suck Up players are always focused on pleasing the powerful. They shower managers with compliments, frequently request their guidance, and never openly disagree with them. Advanced players actively seek out opportunities to stroke the egos of important executives.

The Emotional Payoff: “I feel safe when people in power like me.”

Pitfalls for Players:

• Colleagues generally think that Suck Up players are useless, so they seldom have good peer relationships.
• When problems occur unexpectedly, managers can become quite unhappy with Suck Ups who concealed bad news.
• If they acquire a manager who wants unfiltered opinions and honest feedback, Suck Up players are out of luck.

Countermoves: Countermoves are designed to break the pattern of a game, allowing you to get back on a more productive track. With Suck Up players, the game is generally more annoying than harmful. The biggest problem is that sucking up can prevent the sharing of information or opinions, so countermoves should focus on encouraging more candid discussion.
Solicit their opinions privately: To learn what Suck Ups really think, try talking to them 1-on-1. They feel safer expressing opinions (assuming they have any) when management is not around.
“Out” them in meetings. If you know their true views, you may be able ask Suck Up players about them with appropriate questions. But don’t be malicious! If you try to make them look bad, then you are turning into a game player yourself.
Don’t become their opposite. Suck Up players are so compliant and accommodating that their colleagues can look downright cranky by contrast. Be sure that your own comments and suggestions are presented in a positive, helpful way.

The End of the Game: Suck Up Games end when the player either becomes more assertive and self confident or acquires a boss who hates Suck Ups.

EPILOGUE
Time Management Improves The Bottom Line
Employee: I'd like a minute to talk with you about my contribution here and my compensation.
Manager: No.

Cartoon Copyright : Original Artist - Paro Lini
Article Adapted from : Secrets to Winning at Office Politics

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Backwards !

PROLOGUE
"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb

A big mistake people make is that when they fall off a bit or something happens, they think they "have to start over". Wrong! When missteps do happen, a better strategy is to simply take two steps forward. You’re still ahead of where you were before, far beyond the starting line.

In tennis, losing one point isn’t the end of the world. It happens to the best of them. In fact, if you simply consistently win a few more points that you lose, you may end up in the hall of fame. In life, as long as you’re consistently out-stepping your steps back, you’re ahead of the game. If you expect perfection (and many of us do), you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and/or guilt.

Guilt can be debilitating. When you mess up (or even when things are messed up for you), it’s natural to feel guilty. At that point, you have a choice: to let that guilt plummet you into a cycle that could spit you out worse off than before, or to accept the step back and say "where do I go from here?"

Many times, this means a rededication, a refocusing, and a recommitment. You might want to look at your chain of events and see why it’s allowing those landmines to stick around. Use it as a learning process. Ask how you can keep that misstep from happening again.

Unlike people who run 10 miles today because they should have run two yesterday, "2 Steps Forward" doesn’t necessarily mean doing a lot more to make up for a blunder. Just make a commitment to do things as right as possible as much as you can.

EPILOGUE
"You believe in God, for your part?
...that He who makes
Can make good things from ill things, best from worst,
As men plant tulips upon dunghills
When they wish them finest." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning