Oar, Fish, Fax : Euphemistic Conversations

PROLOGUE
"Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne." - Quentin Crisp

"If we don’t take control of the direction our lives will take, we leave ourselves to the mercy of others, often with disastrous consequences.Such people are like rudderless boats on the ocean, completely at the mercy of the tides to take them wherever they will." Who said that ? Ofcourse Sir Nick :-)

This is exactly the scenario an “OAR” comes into picture. It provides the direction to the rudderless boat … I stand corrected … boats. I had to switch from singular to plural due to the simple fact that oar, lines, fishing hooks, “angler” equipment tends to be shareable asset across multiple boats. It wouldn’t be a befitting tribute to the oar if it was tied down, shackled really, to a single boat.

When I looked at Angler’s comment and the image that went with it I thought about the angst of the angler … though I have to humbly concede that it happens once in a blue moon !

From an Angler’s POV, it is great to watch your friend hook up and battle a big fish. You stand there and silently wish, even if to an infinitesimal degree of sadistic pleasure that the fish does get away.

From another Angler’s POV, once the fish is close he likes to get the net in the water and under the fish coming in. Once he has netted the fish, he lets the hook out and let it go. He is a saintly humanitarian....extendable to fish.

Many times we have seen people charge into the water after a trout and try to net it right off. This can result in missing the fish and breaking it off. We have also seen people grab the end of the line before netting a fish, this is dangerous especially when using special baits, one head shake and a big fish will break your line.

Any other tips for the stressed out Angler ?

The thoughtful person that I am … or rather can be at times … I thought about the interaction of the angler’s fishing line and the fish … or even people in social scenarios. Somehow both situations remind me of a fax machine.

A fax machine simply has an established protocol for first dates. Think back to the last time you faxed a document to someone. Your fax machine makes a connection to the other fax machine, and then you hear all kinds of gibberish before the document starts going through.

Did you ever wonder what that’s all about ?

Well, the two fax machines are basically saying hello and setting the tone of the conversation, how fast they’re going to talk, what language they are going to use, and how long they’re going to chat.

EPILOGUE
"Talking is like playing on the harp; there is as much in laying the hands on the strings to stop their vibration as in twanging them to bring out their music." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Anger ! Provoke ! ... It's all good.

THE PRELUDE

"The more our expansiveness, our creativity is curtailed, the more destructive will our behaviour be ! " - Tony Moore

Anger, like other emotions, is triggered by our perceptions, by the way we read situations. Many perceptions are culture-specific. Australians blow their noses in public, which Japanese consider impolite. Japanese sniffle, which is off-putting to Australians. Westerners insist on telling, and being told the absolute truth. Asians will not "tell the truth" if it results in loss of face for themselves or others. Appropriate behaviour between the sexes, and definitions of adultery, differ between cultures.
We can also misread situations, or wrongly conclude that we are powerless. We sometimes entertain too high an expectation of ourselves, or of others, and fail to realise that most of us are doing the best we can, given our circumstances and early psychological conditioning.
To consider another's circumstances, and to refrain from responding angrily to provocative behaviour, may be healthy or unhealthy. There is a world of difference between repressing anger, restraining it, or so framing this situation that anger does not arise.
It is important to test and rework our perceptions and expectations. These perceptions will impact upon the management of anger.
Some contemplatives argue that anger is a function of the ego and that overcoming the ego's dominance reduces anger. They contend that because they are aware of what drives others, they cannot be angry with them.
I can understand what they are saying. Nevertheless, I suspect that, however much we diminish expressions of anger through a compassionate appraisal of others' foibles, we don't altogether escape its pull. Nor am I convinced that we should. It is our life-energy. What is important is that we moderate the urge to hit back.
The healthy expression of anger requires discipline, flexibility, and centredness in the self.

THE CULMINATION

"Preemptive boringness. Being one-dimensional is the most satisfying method of coping with out-of-control people--with any situation that's out of control. Keep your face like a screen-saver software program. Don't let people know the ideas you love, the games you've played, the places you've visited in your mind. Keep your treasure to yourself." - Douglas Coupland

Probability !

Love, i have to hand it to you (Thanks for the comment) ! Nice to know that in the darned world of today interlaced with reality and insanity there are still people who believe that cats have nine lives . Well as i said last curiosity is the cure for boredom... and bored that i am .. i did some quick search in terms of your comment. Apparently its difficult to satisfy the cat(s) ! Took the liberty (verging on plagiarism) to hereby publish the proof.

Anonymous your question is a classic one and am sure you know the answer is plain and simple - "NO" ! However to make it more theoretical (or theatrical) lets go by research. I treat your question in two parts the former of which has been answered in a blunt no. For the second part i take refuge in one of the research findings: A group of people was given a choice of placing a bet of a card being drawn from a couple of decks. One deck had equal red and black cards and the composition of other deck was unknown. Mathematically one deck was "Risky" and the other one was "Ambiguous". When the choice of bet was placed to the group , they deliberated for a long time and eventually chose the "Risky" deck for placing the bet. Consensus thinking forced them to not make them seem "Foolish" (?) by voicing their opinions in favour of a "Ambiguous" (?) deck.

Interestingly enough the same problem was posed to individuals from a separate group on a one on one basis and each immediately responded something on the lines "Doesn't matter where the bet is placed, the probability of drawing a red card remains the same in both decks".

Moral of the story is that group thinking can cloud decision making process whenever there is ambiguity/risk involved. To quote "Meetings are intellectual masturbation sessions. No one gets laid i.e. achieves anything except self satisfaction !" - His Highness Sir Timus

Did curiosity really kill the cat ?

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” - Dorothy Parker

ST chided me on my less than prolific blogging recently. The usual excuses apply; not tech savvy, busy, etc., etc. But he’s right. I haven’t been making as much time for this fantastic outlet to vent as I should. Some of the issue is managing and rethinking the split between public and private blogging. I originally began using these tools (back in 98/99) as an outburst of "creativity" (?) and as an amplifier on my ability to unnecessarily inform people about topics they were already informed about. But all said and done these were the topics i found witty, sarcastic or simply somethings i thought wasnt a waste of reading time... contrary to some comments that the content could have been cut/paste (thats my job innit !!!). But then yes opinions and A-holes have a commonality.. everyone is entitled to one :-)
I didn’t start this with a well-developed "business case" or a "clear plan". The out-of-pocket costs to play with these new technologies are close to zero. The time costs can be a different question, but the potential payoffs are what is absolutely critical. And none of it fits into a business case any better than trying to calculate the future value of a newborn baby. You’ve got to live it to create whatever value is going to be found.

Here we go again...

Gertrude Stein said that "Everybody knows that if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." Doesnt that reflect quite truly on the way that some people react. Agreed ; it's better to be safe then sorry ..but should you really go that extra yard that things begin to stink ...sometimes to the extent that the very mention of the word "laid down process" and "methodology" seems detestable to the core. The world of Yahoo! and Google wasn't the outcome of a laid down process . They were ideas out of the blue and there is no second thought required when it comes to the success amassed by them.Life appears to be too short in nursing animosities and registering wrong ...We need time and space for ourselves too. Give yourselves a break fellas !
Cheers !

Kiss Redefined
Professor of Algebra : Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.
Professor of Geometry : Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.
Professor of Physics : Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to expansion of the heart.
Professor of Chemistry : Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Professor of Zoology : Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.
Professor of Physiology : Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Professor of Dentistry : Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Professor of Accountancy : Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Professor of Economics : Kiss is that for which the demand is always higher than the supply.
Professor of Statistics : Kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-32.
Professor of Philosophy : Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth & homage for the old.
Professor of English : Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper.
Professor of Comp.Science : What is a kiss? It looks to be an undefined variable.
Professor of Architecture : Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects.

Last Testimony

With tendrils of unsung songs
Autumn reaches out and
Lets the turning leaves, go free.
Vivid scarlet,
Gold veined and fragile,
They toss and tumble
Designing a trail through
The cobalt sky.
Careening like a swirling
Myriad of jeweled wings
Floating down, one upon another
Only to reconverge
Into a squall and
Rattle about my feet,
Curled and buckled.
Like an old woman's hands
Clutching a broom.
Vulnerable to the touch,
Doomed but victorious,
Their season is passed.